05/06/2011

Life's turned another corner.

I like to think that life has always been in generally OK for me. I have loads of friends online, an intelligent and supportive fanbase and a career which is also my hobby; not many people get to have that and I consider myself pretty lucky and am grateful each and every day.

Some of you may be thinking why I'm talking about this now. It's simply because I want to. Things have happened in the last couple of months which have really defined where my life may head; for the better, I assure you. My latest stints of work have been really stimulating allowing me to express myself creatively and gain a lot of technical know-how very quickly. Editing is clearly where my career will go at this point in time and I'm determined to make it happen. However, it's meant that I've had to make some sacrifices alongside the acquisitions. What those consist of are for another day.

In general, life's good. I've got an epic two weeks of cons coming up at the end of July, quite a few meet-ups with the UK posse at various events which I always look forward to; not to mention the aforementioned work status picking up. Despite this, there has been something missing which I wish to share with you.

When I was big (which was pretty much my ENTIRE childhood), I got messed around emotionally by girls. I was so naive and got mocked accordingly. I did have a couple of friends who were girls, but my popularity in school was middling. My size/height meant I wasn't a punching bag but I never really got noticed; because of that I never really acknowledged the whole dating thing. Throughout college and most of university, I had the mindset of 'How can you miss something you've never had?' Of course in uni I had friends and I did have a crush on someone, but that got dashed pretty quickly and I was broken. When, as you all know, I lost the weight, my confidence went up and I felt that I could have a chance at a relationship. However, it wasn't an instant thing. Granted, my social confidence was higher and I DID have an online relationship going in the middle of last year for a couple of months; but that went nowhere and looking back on it, it wasn't really a relationship you could build on. I then had the foundations of another one during the end of last year but that ended before it even began in all honesty; however with both instances, I'm still cool with them and we're still buds. Even after the weight loss, I wasn't much closer. This got me sort of despondent.

However, things changed very recently. Last weekend was London MCM, a con I was looking forward to because TONS of my friends were going and I could spend 3/4 days with them talking about anime, fun stuff and Nando's...lots of Nando's (It's the abridger's restaurant of choice, don't you know!). Throughout that weekend I really got to know the people I first met at Alcon last year, touched base with at LAC a few months previously and feel even more at ease with them.

Then I spotted someone; someone who up till then I had only exchanged brief snippets of conversation at previous meetups. We got talking a little more and I then started to feel something towards her which filled me with happiness. Throughout that weekend, we discovered we had TONS in common and had similar tastes in humour, music and outlooks on life. I was so happy. When Sunday came along and our final group dinner ended, me and her parted company. We promised to get in touch and meet up again soon. There was a brief spark whilst saying good bye which left me giddy. We've been out twice since then and my feelings have only grown. I never thought this would happen to me. I feel complete; at ease. Not that I wasn't content before then, but my outlook on life has become mellower. It's early days, but I so want this to work. If it does, life will be 100% jubilant!

In the words of a catchy commercial, "I, am MoreThan Freeman. Thank you, for listening."

10 comments:

  1. Really happy for you Masako, glad your happy :D

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  2. Well Masako I have to say that is kinda inspiring and i hope things work out for ya i mean you give so much for people to enjoy that i hope you get something back anyway hope you update us if things go well so See Ya and i hope to talk to you on Skype again soon :D

    ~chrisora2066~

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  3. I'm really happy for ya, sir.

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  4. Good to hear... well read, Masako. ^^d
    Though, better brace youself. Seeing as the anime cliche dictates that your rival for her affection will show up shortly. ;)

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  5. Fantastic, Sir!

    Good luck to you and your lady friend!

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  6. Hey, I hear you. In college I lost 55 pounds. I graduated a few weeks ago and I still have never dated -- and I'm a girl, we're supposed to have it easier! I look a lot better, but I still need to get the confidence up. I'm really happy that you're making some progress there, as it's something I'm still struggling with. People expect that those who are big have big courage too, but often the opposite is true.

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  7. Awwww that last bit was sweeeet :3 good luck to you and your lady friend as said ^
    (as the school thing you said i was the same as you but not a small height)
    It sucks but people are real assholes in school /:

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  8. That's what pretty much all of us go through in life, even if the details differ a bit. The basics are the same.

    My mantra is to always start by giving myself the good things I need. If that's successful I have more good to give to others too. Small good things last better. Depends on the starting point.

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  9. Smiling. I'm happy for you, Masako. This gave me hope for the future too.

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