This morning, I woke up. Well, this happens all the time so nothing special there. But this morning was different. Last night was truly wonderful. I am now in a relationship for the first time in my life. I have the greatest girlfriend in the world (I may not have experience, but I know this in my heart.) and all though this may be long distance, I know we can make this work.
Sure, it may seem sad that this is new to me at the age of 23, but this is a true milestone for me. After spending the majority of my life as an obese person, I felt that I could never have a normal life; that I would always be condemned to ridicule and hushed judgement. Granted, I am fairly optimistic and I felt fine about my size at the time because I kept thinking, 'How can I miss something I never had?'. In retrospect, it's tragic that I had lost my entire childhood and teenage years. But ultimately, I think it saved me from making any foolhardy decisions and getting hurt physically and emotionally more than I did; name-calling is nothing to me now. Now that I have reached a normal weight and can do anything I please, I know exactly what I want in life and I know that there is nothing holding me back and I can make measured decisions that are beneficial for all concerned. Hence this is why that I now feel like I have come full circle. I am a normal guy; eccentric, maybe quirky but intrinsically normal. I may not be a risk-taker, but I'm not a boring soul.
You may be wondering why I'm telling you this, but this is something I've wanted to do for 4 years and now I have, I feel elated. If you have read this, thank you - it pleases me that you care about my goings-on. :)
Congrats man!
ReplyDeleteSounds inspirational/motivational. I think people that have the same problem you had should read this so they could know that all is not lost.
Cheers!
Ehh, it's not so strange for this to be a new experience at 23. I'm 21 and single. I was a "loser" through all of middle school and half of high school, but it taught me that some people just can't be pleased. It's what made me into the easy going person I am now and helped me make friends with amazing people that I never would have met otherwise. Everyone has troubles, but if a person doesn't give up, those troubles form them into a wonderful person full of experience.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations. That doesn't sound strange whatsoever, indeed like you say this way you avoided needless pain for yourself. I am sorry that you feel you missed your childhood. BUT surely that means that you can enjoy being a kid now when you are older and thus it's far more fun.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations again and the best of luck to you both :-)
Great to hear you are doing well :) I've had similar experiences in life and slowly things have taken a better direction. Good luck to ya!
ReplyDeletewow this is...really inspirational... i am as of now battling with..obesity and other things as far as relationships go and it helps t hear that someone like me can get over both and live on :)
ReplyDeleteIt's not that abnormal. I'm 24 and as of last month I find myself in my first relationship as well, with a really cool lady. I think late bloomers may all have their own hangups and issues (I think its more a confidence thing than anything, as I've always been pretty slim), but A) it means we haven't made prior potentially awful mistakes, and B) I think naivete about relationships brings something new and useful to a relationship when the partner is more experienced. Makes things interesting!
ReplyDeleteTell us about the lucky lady =P
ReplyDeleteI'm very happy for you. Love is a beautiful thing when it happens. If anything, it happening this late makes it more likely to truly mean something. While we're all a work in progress, you're more stabilized than an ever-changing, volatile teenager, thus she's more likely to continue seeing in you what she fell in love with.
ReplyDeleteBut, a word of caution from personal experience AND countless witness... Long distance relationships are very, VERY hard. At first you think they'll be fine, your blossoming love powerful enough to get you through. For a while, that will be the case. You'll be wistful for each other, keeping the bond strong. But somewhere along the like, one of you two or both of you will undergo a mental reflex where your mind tries to get used to living without the other, if you don't get to see each other enough. To protect itself from feeling lonely.
This is what makes one or both in a long-distance couple end up cheating or just drifting away. It's just something that happens. It's not elective, it's eventual and reflexive.
So if you want to truly make this work, you two HAVE to visit each other as much as possible. At very least, video or voice chat or talk on the phone. You need to bond physically as often as possible by spending time with each other, having fun and cuddling and going places, and doing mundane everyday things together like watch tv or play games.
Then, somehow, you guys have to close the gap and be able to live with each other. That will be very important. Don't make goals ONLY for each other, but see if either of you can form ones that will lead to you to being together. And work towards it. I can't stress enough how important it is. You have to end up together within a few years. Or else it won't become anything more than yet another failed long-distance attempt.
I've seen it all too much, experienced it myself and the broken heart that followed. It's been painful enough for me to swear off love altogether until I find someone I'm destined for and who I can actually go to, or who can come to me, or who is already near me.
I just want to see this work. I want you to be happy for ever after, not just for a while. I really, sincerely wish you the best of luck, and hope this can, indeed, work out.
Congratulations!! I'm glad to see you happy! *does a happy dance*
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't think of 23 as a "late bloomer"
Heck, my boyfriend of 3 years was 19, and I'm his first girlfriend (as he's my first boyfriend) and honestly, we've had very little in the way of problems. We're both mature about our relationship and honest about our feelings. And it's always been semi-long distance. I was even a plane-flight away for a good 9 months when I went off to a far away college, and we still stayed together through that.
But again, congratulations. :)
...You used to be obese? I mean this in the best way, man: It doesn't show. You're an awesome, squirrely little dude.
ReplyDelete